Behind Enemy Lines

It was a hazy Thursday. I drove the purple people eater to get an oil change. I was unsure, but it was my destiny to go there. To the hell-mouth. To the forbidden zone. The place whose name no one speaks. I was heading to Yankees Stadium.

As baseball fan living in New York how can I have never been there. The place they call the shrine to baseball. So despite not wanting to enable George Steinbrenner’s destroying of the league, I bit the bullet and bought a ticket.

People always say that Shea Stadium is smack in the middle of Flushing, but comparatively it’s in the middle of nowhere. There was an active thriving community surrounding the stadium on three sides, with the fourth being adjacent to the Major Deegan.

There were no enemy colors to be seen. Save one scalper wearing a Mets hat, some old man in an angel’s hat, and a guy with his son wearing an old beat up Mets cap. I went very neutral, gray skater shirt and floppy floral print hat.

I got over to my seat right next to the foul pole. I couldn’t see the very corner of right field without standing up and looking over the ledge. With all the big stars on the Yankees most were introduced to polite applause except for Hideki “Godzilla” Matsui and Derek Jeter. Jeter, who is basically a like a weak hitting Mike Piazza, is the man there. Most of the jerseys said (incorrectly) Jeter on the back.

Biggest freaks from Yankee Stadium
  • The guys who just discovered drinking

  • The drunk who almost fell over the railing, who high fived me when either Matsui or Bernie Williams hit a homer. If I was wearing a Mets shirt he would have slit my throat

  • The giant roach I had to kill

  • The old haggard women, inviting the Yankees back to some hotel in upstate NY

  • The high school girl’s softball team who were nearly wetting themselves as they watched Derek Jeter dancing around the Mendoza line and towards the interstate.

  • Jon Lieber really tosses a quick game. Which was nice. Since it was so fucking hot. Lieber went into the 8th, and with a 4-run lead the Yanks bring out Tom “Flash” Gordon, to the tunes of Queen. Once Flash was introduced and his music ended I decided to leave. As I’m heading down the circular ramps, I hear some booing and what not, but I just keep going, trying to avoid the rush. As I get out onto 157th and River you can hear blasting form the stadium “Enter Sandman” which means that Mariano Rivera is in the game. Which means that there is a save situation. I get to my car, and Mike and the mad dog are talking about the bases being loaded. Rivera ends the game, the Yankees win 7-4. I beat traffic out and soon I’m back in the greater Ridgewood area. Back in Queens … land of the Mets. By the way later that night the Mets beat Arizona and Brandon Webb 7-4.

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