A somber time

These past few days have been a little tough, but thankfully we have gotten through it. On Wednesday, my brother told me that one of our aunts (my godmother) had passed. She had been sick for a while, but still it was a shock when it finally happened.

We headed to the wake Friday afternoon, it was pouring raining and traffic was terrible, but we made it there during the first session. While we drove Nugget asked us where we were going. Neither I nor Mrs.GMIBP had a really good answer. We told her we were going to see Ala, Uncle Mike, Aunt Mandy, BB and other relatives. She was satisfied with that answer as she watched Peppa Pig on my iPod.

It was nice seeing some cousins from out of state, even though I don’t recognize most of them. I can be bad with names sometimes. There were all these really great pictures of Aunt Agnes, with her kids, grand kids and great-grand kids, and other assorted relatives.

I was honored to be in one of those pictures. It was me as a little boy (I was very cute) and I looked very much like a dark haired Belushi and a curly haired Nugget. Yes they are very beautiful children. Nugget found a picture of my mom, and quickly identified her. Right above the picture of me was a picture of my dad with Aunt Agnes. I had seen the picture before; it was on a beach in Puerto Rico around the time of my baptism. And she pointed to the man pushing a lady up a twisted tree “Who dat?” I was taken a back for a second, I didn’t 100% know how to answer. But I manned up, prepared for any follow up questions, and said that is your grandfather. “Oh” and then went on to ask who others were in pictures.  One day I will talk to Nugget and Belushi about him, but it is still tough for me to deal with, over thirty years later.

As we drove to the church this morning for the funeral mass, Nugget asked me where we were going. And I did have a good answer, “We are going to say goodbye to Aunt Agnes.” I honestly don't envy  my cousins who have to explain were Grandma (and Great-Grandma) are to a couple of 4-year-olds.

I knew that she was going to be buried in the same cemetery as my dad, my late uncle was buried their as well. As we drove there, I knew there would be pressure to stop by his grave. In the last 25 years I had gone only once. It was probably 10-11 years ago, I went by my self, but before that I was probably around 12 the last time I went. The funeral procession drove us right by it. I pointed it out to Mrs.GMIBP, she had never been there. My brother mentioned he was going to stop by, and then my mom asked me to go as well. So I went. Me and Mrs.GMIBP got out of the car and we both stayed back. Luckily the little guy was enjoying a bottle and Nugget was occupied by one of my cousins. It was very awkward and I was glad to be back in the car. Yes there are lots of unresolved issues, and one day I will deal with them. But not yet.

Aunt Agnes was the last of my dad’s siblings and it was really weird spending time at her house today, without her there.

1 comment:

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